The Finishline!

I did it! I finally finished braiding my hair in micro-braids early this morning. It took my five days and I don't know how many hours. I'm happy with the final results. My fingers are kind of stuck in a claw form from all the braiding. Plus, there is hair everywhere in the house. Dylan has a fit when it gets on him. What a silly goose. I'm really proud of myself because I wanted to do this a long time ago but didn't think I could do it with the kids around. It was much harder, but still doable. I kept Dylan out of my hair by turning on PBS. Devin...he was another issue. He kept getting into everything: the computer, VCR, XBox, the hair, had to nurse and be cuddled. I tell you, sometime it felt like he was trying to work against me.


I already feel better about myself. I'm not saying that my self worth is in my hair, but when you feel good about your outside appearance, it changes how you feel on the inside and is reflected outwardly. I no longer have to pull my hair back into a weak, short ponytail with pieces sticking out everywhere. I can wake up, get dressed and go without having to stress about how my hair looks. This just gives me more confidence because I wasn't taking care of my hair or keeping it healthy. Half the time I looked a mess. Now that I've braided my hair it's time to make other changes. I just need to clean out my closet of all the old clothes that don't fit and go on a shopping spree! Yeah right.


By just focusing on my hair I let everything else go. My semi-messy house is now a complete mess again. I've gotta clean up today. Tomorrow, I'm turning the TVs off and taking the kids to the park early in the morning before it gets too hot. We might even go to Barnes and Noble to play with the trains. We're going to do something fun because they've been inside for day (other than Dylan going to church). Maybe we'll go to Stevi B's Pizza as a special treat. I'm just going to try to give them a fun day. We all deserve it.

Before After

A Long Road Ahead

Today is the day that I start making a change to help me feel better about myself. I'm braiding my hair in micro-braids. Why is that a big deal? Well for me it's the first step in helping me get my cuteness back. My hair is such a mess right now that I'm ready to shave it all off. Instead of taking that drastic step, I'm going to sit for hours on end, twist my body in unnatural ways to reach the back of my head, neglect my kids some (just a little, not a lot), watch plenty of TV, and braid my hair.

I learned to braid just by trying to figure it out. I've had braids probably for more years than I did not have them. I first practiced on my little sister's head. To be honest, she looked a mess. I wasn't proud of my work. Then I got it in my head that I could braid my own hair with micro-braids. I did this circa B.K. (translation: Before Kids). I would take a long weekend off from work, stay up all hours of the night and just braid. I would watch movie after movie. Everyone thought that I had gotten it done professional. I definitely can't braid as tight as the Africans when you go to a shop. You know the ones where they make you cry and have you popping aspirin like it's candy because the pain is so bad? I guess it's a good thing that I can't, huh? Who wants her head to throb for days and not be able to put her head on the pillow at night? Not me!

I honestly haven't been happy with my hair for a while. Probably not since I was pregnant with Dylan. My hair was so full and long. That was one good thing about the pregnancy. But after he was born, my hair fell out! All along the edges my hair was gone; I was almost bald! It was so embarrassing to have no hair there. It finally grew back but it's never been the same. When I got pregnant with Devin, I automatically thought my hair would grow just like before. No such luck. I think it's worse than before. It's just so unmanageable. Or it could be all my fault and I just don't take care of it any more or have the energy to take of it.

So today I start trying to braid it. I'm not sure how long this is going to take with two kids that need attention, food, drink, to nurse, take naps, need hugs and kisses, and who will probably want to investigate what I'm doing. Oh well, however long it takes I've got to get it done. We might not leave the house for a few days, or at least I won't. I'll get someone to take them out this weekend so they won't be cooped up or driving me crazy.

Yes, I have to add a picture of the kids!

Mama's Night Out

It was ladies night out on Saturday. My friend Brandi, who is in town from D.C., invited me to go out with her so that we could spend time without our kids. I think that most people would jump at the chance to go out, but I was honestly reluctant. As much as I complain about being stuck at home, I really wasn't sure I wanted to go out. One of the reasons was money, or lack of. But the biggest reason that I wasn't sure I wanted to go out is because I'm a terrible homebody; I just like to hangout at home. My idea of a fun night isn't going to a club and dancing (since I can't dance anyway). I like to sit, talk, eat, watch a movie. But with a little encouragement from some other friends, I decided at the last moment to go.

Another reason I wasn't sure about going is that I didn't have anything to wear. It's so frustrating because after having two kids in three years and not exercising like I should, I don't have anything that really fits. All I wear now are jeans and Old Navy t-shirts. I wasn't going to wear that out for a night of fun. Once I decided to go, I really got into the spirit of things and got excited. I searched my sister's closet then my own to find anything that could be turned into something flattering. I wanted to look cute. My husband, Bart, wanted to know why I wanted to be "cute." He never gets why I hate when he doesn't shave or he goes to the store dressed like a bum. When he goes out, he represents me. I want people to say, "Dang! That guy's good looking. Too bad he's married, or I'd go after him," not, "Eww! What a mess. I feel sorry for whoever married that dude." So I want to look cute when I go out because I want guys to look at me and feel sad that I'm off the market. Vain, I know, but why even bother then?

I did the best I could with what I had. I felt all right with what I could come up with until Brandi came looking great, though she admitted that it was her mom's shirt. (You have great taste, Margie!) I felt kind of frumpy in my outfit. But looking at my pictures, I think I looked OK. Brandi add the lipstick and eyeshadow on me. Plus she doctored up my eyebrow. (I had a terrible eyebrow accident where I was trying to shape up my brows while I was dog tired and ended up chopping a quarter off the end of the right brow. That was embarrassing.)

So it was girl's night out on the town. No kids! No hubbies! We headed into Atlanta for a good time and I think that we accomplished it. We got a chance to talk and catch up. It was great talking to her without a baby crying or another trying to get your attention. I almost forgot what it was like to talk to another grownup with cool music playing in the background. I tried not to only talk about the kids. It was hard since they are such a big part of our lives, but we found plenty of other things to discuss and reminisce about.

We went to a place called Luna Loca. They have a live band and a DJ. Of course they played salsa type music. I really think that that's the only music I can kinda, sorta dance to. I'm not saying that I am great and can do the Samba and twirls, but I don't mind getting on the dance floor too much to this kind of music. If it were hip-hop, then I would have no idea what to do. I never know what to do with my arms and my body just doesn't seem to move like everyone else's. I need to watch some music videos and practice, practice, practice.

Brandi's younger sister Bridget and their friend Star (no photo) joined us later. Somehow we all ended up dressing in turquoise. So not planned, but I'm sure other girls were giving us the stank eye for dressing alike.

We danced some more. The three of them dance a lot better than I do. I guess that's why guys were asking them to dance and not me. Oh well. I'm not sad or bitter...well, maybe just a little, but I'll be OK.

As it got later, the crowd grew. I was tired, hot and ready to go home. I'm not used to that kind of atmosphere. I was getting tired of being bumped around like a pinball and having my toes stepped on. It was just too many people. I think that if I hadn't said anything those girls would have danced until the place closed. I just couldn't hang anymore. Plus, we had a really long drive back home.

I got home after 3:30 a.m.! How scandalous! I just want to give Brandi a big "Thank You!" for taking me out, for getting me to do something that I normally wouldn't do, and for helping to have a good time. Now, will I be running out to do it again any time soon....Not likely, but I'm always open to ideas.

Lending a Helping Hand

I've had a busy week. A friend of mine that I've known since high school came in town with her two boys. Brandi is the only person that I've kept in touch with from school, and she only went there for our Senior year! That was at least 12 years ago! Wow that's a long time to me to be out of high school. We have stayed in contact off and on throughout the years. In just the past few years we have stayed in touch on a more regular basis. I saw her first son, Solomon, only a few days after he was born almost six years ago. And we get together when she comes down from D.C. to visit her family here. I really appreciate and treasure our friendship.

Anyway, Brandi came down with her boys Solomon, who turns 6 in December, and Darius, who will be 2-years old next month. A little background: she and her family focus on living a well-balanced lifestyle that includes eating well and maintaining a healthy body through the foods that they eat. She is a health counselor. Check out her site at http://www.lifewithspice.com/. So the purpose for her coming down here is for her and her sister to make a DVD about eating foods in the right seasons and a healthy way to prepare and enjoy them. Last Friday she asked me if I could help her by watching the kids while she and her sister ran errands to get ready for the shoot. I said sure because I wanted to help her out. Plus this would give Dylan a chance to hang out with other little boys. Brandi's kids are a cool bunch of little people.

I think everyone had a good time. There was a lot of getting to know each other. Dylan is only used to playing with his brother. As hard as I try, he always takes toys from Devin. This time he couldn't take toys without someone fighting back. So I had to instill some rules about sharing. Solomon was my little helper. This guy loves, just loves, babies. He could watch Devin for me while I left the room for a moment. I will admit that I was a little apprehensive when he would pick Devin up and carry him, but that's just the overprotective mom coming out.

At the end of the afternoon, Brandi asked me the big question: Could I watch the boys all day Tuesday while she and her family shot the video? I told her I would have to think about it. I was thinking that a few hours wasn't too bad, but a whole day?? Could I really handle 4 BOYS under the age of 6? I really needed to think about it. I eventually said 'yes' (it didn't hurt that she offered to pay me).

We decided for me and my boys to come over Monday night to spend the night. I thought I had everything packed and ready to go so that when Bart got home, we could eat dinner and then leave. I know he has to go to bed early and get up so early in the morning. Well it didn't work out that way. Needless to say, he was mad...more like very mad. Oh well, he got over it. He complained about all the stuffed I packed. I always pack a lot with two small children. Plus you never know what is going to happen. I'm glad I'm always prepared and I'm not even a boy scout (lame I know).

Tuesday everyone got up early, had breakfast, then watched Michael Jackson's Moonwalker movie, all before 9 a.m. What a way to start off the day with watching Michael Jackson dance and a 5-year old copying his every move and pointing out every detail. I remember watching that movie over and over again as a kid, but I sure didn't dance like Solomon does. We watched a few movies and played outside a few times. The boys ran around the house screaming and chasing each other. I'm kinda glad that Devin can't walk just yet because I didn't need to have all of them running around crazy. It was good to hear the laughter, but there would also be crying. Solomon was a little bit too protective of his brother when he should have let me handle it. Dylan and Darius would take toys from others and get upset when someone took their toy. But I would like to think that there was more laughter than tears.

By the evening, I was exhausted. Dylan and Darius took a nap, but Devin was wide awake. I got to close my eyes for a few minutes while on the couch but didn't get the nap like I wanted. Sol was watching Peter Pan for the second time so I asked that he just made sure Devin didn't get to the stairs. He's a good helper like that.

Brandi's shoot took a lot longer than they expected. While everyone was watching TV after dinner, Sol began asking when his mom was coming home. He had some tears and that little voice letting you know he was sad. I couldn't give him an answer but I tried to reassure him some. Sol is so much taller and mature than most 5-year olds that you forget that he is only 5. With the four kids, I often lost track of time. So when Brandi's mom called to let me know that they were running even later, I knew it was time for bed because Solomon was passed out in the arm chair and Darius was headed toward a major meltdown. Bedtime for everyone! And as it got later, that meant bedtime for me, too. So we spent another night at their place. I wondered what Bart would think when he woke up and I wasn't there.

When I woke up, I didn't see anyone around. When Sol woke up, he asked where his mom was. I couldn't even tell him. I was thinking to myself, "Oh no!! Where in the world is your mom and your grandmom?! Did they go for a run so early in the morning?" Thankfully Brandi popped her head out of grandmom's room. Thank God!! I wasn't meantally prepared to take care of the kids for another day. The boys and I decided not to run straight home. It was a nice day, and Brandi suggested we go to the neighborhood pool and playground. We had a great time playing, swimming, and running around. By the end of our afternoon, everyone was noticeably tired, but I had to wait for my older sister to come pick us up, which seemed to take forever. When she did get there, Brandi was already half a sleep. After I loaded everything up in the car, had my kids buckled and ready to go, the car wouldn't start. UGH! As much as I loved our time there, I was ready to go home. Dylan and Devin were ready for a nap and were showing it. We finally got out of there after some praying and pleading with the car.

I thought Sol would be glad to have Dylan leave. No more fighting, having Dylan tell him no, or having Dylan referring to every toy as "Mine." But he seemed kind of sad. Since we've been home, Dylan keeps asking to go and see Sol and Darius. It's hard to explain to him that they live in another state and he won't be able to visit them.

I must say that I was inspired after leaving Brandi's mom's house. That place was so clean. As tired as I was, when we got home that night, I looked at my home and was disgusted and embarrassed. I mopped the kitchen floor that night because it was so dirty, and I hated having Devin crawling on it. The next day I conquered the piles of dirty dishes stacked everywhere around the kitchen. The kitchen finally look decent. I haven't gotten my place as clean as hers (I doubt I ever will until the kids are headed to college), but I'm headed in the right direction. Let's just hope that this feeling and motivation doesn't go away to soon. Brandi says that she feels the same way when she heads back home.

Overall it was a great week. I even got to take Dylan and Devin to the park. Dylan got to play and ride his trike around. He was so cute! Devin just hung out on my hip. I was talking to a nanny from Trinidad. She was surprised to hear that Dylan was potty trained. She was taking caring of a boy and girl a little bit older than him and they still weren't potty trained. I told her about the little doll that you can buy. It's supposed to set the example for the kids. She said that the mom had bought all that stuff for the girl, but it didn't work. I'm so proud of my little guy. Even though he has accidents every now and then because he gets too busy playing and waits too late. Other than that he's doing a good job. He makes his mama happy.

Growing Up

It's inevitable that my little babies will eventually grow up. But sometimes that process can be sad. Dylan has developed a fear of the dark. He can't really express what's wrong, but when I put him to bed at night, he won't let me turn the light off. I have gotten into the practice of leaving the light dimmed for him, and when I put Devin (the 10 month old) down for bed, I turn the light off. I started doing that because even though I know Dylan prefers the light on now, if Devin wakes up during the night, the light keeps him up and I have to get him so he'll stop crying. Well this morning I realized that this practice isn't working. At 6 a.m. Devin woke up to be nursed. When I went into their room to get him, I found the door wide open and no Dylan in the bed. I searched around and found him. He was curled up on the couch next to a little lamp. It's the only light that I leave on at night, and he went to it for comfort :(. My little guy....That makes me sad.

They are both growing up in so many other ways. Devin will be a year old in less than 2 months!! How is that possible?! Where has the time gone? It feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. Now he almost has five teeth. He crawls everywhere (you can't stop him). Tries to play like Dylan. And makes the funnest sounds when he talks. I've gotta figure out what kind of party I want to throw him and who to invite. I think it'll be a lot smaller than when Dylan had his 1st birthday party. It didn't get out of control and he didn't seem overwhelmed or anything, but it was a lot of work.

I can see how both of my boys are growing and maturing. They play a lot better together for the time being, though I still have to monitor them to make sure Dylan doesn't knock Devin over or try to sit on 0him (why he does that is anyone's guess). It's not that Dylan has been terribly mean to Devin. For a two-year-old it's hard work to share your toys and space with a new person. This has been a good week for them and Bart. The three of them have played and laughed and just had a good time. Bart was upset today that he wasn't able to play with Dylan yesterday because he got home late from work and was too tired. That really touched my heart. Since we've been back from the beach, Devin has been soooo happy to see his daddy come home from work. Devin just about "runs" (crawls really fast) to the door when he hears him coming home. It's so precious. He didn't really do that before, but I guess he missed his daddy while we were on vacation.

We even went outside today for 30 minutes to take a little walk and blow bubbles. Dylan has been afraid to go outside to get some fresh air since we moved here because a very loud school bus and garbage truck have scared him. Today he was the one to ask to go outside. He wasn't too worried while we were playing, but once he heard some loud trucks on another street, he said that it was time to go home.

Anyway, as much as these two can drive me bonkers at times, I've really got to appreciate these moments because they grow up so fast. I can almost understand why families like the Duggars have so many children (the 18th child is due in January 2009!). That's not going to be me, but I can understand wanting to have and hold onto that little person that you brought home from the hospital for as long as you can and not having them grow up. But they do.

Gosh, guess I'm being a bit mushy today.

What a Week!

Well, the boys and I are finally back from our trip to Panama City Beach, FL. It started off as the worst beach vacation ever for this family with constant thunderstorms, the beach covered in nasty seaweed, and an extra clingy baby. Everything turned around for the better the last few days we were there except the clingy baby (that drove me crazy).

My mom, two sisters, the boys and I left early Sunday morning in hopes to being able to spend time at the beach that same day. By the time we got there though, everyone was so tired that we all passed out. When we finally did wake up, the sky was overcast and gloomy. We still wanted to check out the beach. Dylan is so funny with his quarks. He walked on his heels the whole time because he didn't want to get sand on his toes. Of course he wouldn't get anywhere near the water, which was fine because the beach and water were kind of dirty with a bag of trash and other unmentionable things that I guess got washed up on shore from the storms. To start the "worst vacation ever" for us, we got caught in a downpour. I warned my family that we shouldn't take a walk along the beach, that it looked like it was going to pour buckets of water on our heads, but they wanted to take a walk and said the rain clouds were heading in a different directions. When did they become meteorologist? It's a burden to be right all the time.

We made it back to the hotel soaked. That's where we stayed for the remainder of that day and the next. The hotel was really very nice. We stayed at The Inn at St. Thomas Square. It had everything that we needed, including a washer-dryer in the suite and a full kitchen. My mother brought with us everything from her cupboards so we wouldn't have to spend money and eat out too often. She does this for every trip we take. We make fun of her, but it always works out for the best in the end. We did go out once and that was to celebrate my older sister's birthday. Happy 36th b-day, Nikah!

Because the beaches weren't in the best shape from the storms, we spent some time at the pool. Getting Dylan in the pool took some gentle work and coaxing. I had to use a lot of patience to get him in. At first I could only get him on the steps and then I'd get him to go out a little further and so forth. By the end of the trip, I had to force him to get out of the pool so we could go home. He had a great time splashing, "fishing" with his foam noodle, and jumping in. I bought him a car shaped float. That was the best thing ever to him since he loves cars so much! We would drive around the pool, stopping at one spot to get gas then another area to buy groceries. He would make the engine sound and honk his horn. He even got to play with some little kids. Dylan was having such a good time in the pool that he felt confident enough to keep his life jacket off. Trust me, I was right by him the whole time. But he had no qualms stepping off the last step and having his head go underwater. I had to help him up, but he didn't cry like I though he would.

What was Devin doing the whole time? Crying for me. He was OK if I left and he didn't notice. But once he saw me, it was all over and he would cry until I picked him up. At the pool he rode in his float and was content as long as I was near by. The last time I took him in the water, he was in a good mood and had a great time kicking his legs and splashing. He had a big, silly grin on his face the whole time. I loved seeing him like that.

We finally did make it to the beach the last two days we were there. We went to St. Andrew State Park. Gorgeous! From there we went to Shell Island. Breathtaking! Shell Island was perfect for my little guys. For starters Dylan got to take his first bus and boat ride to get to the island. He really liked that. On one side of the island, there was a rock formation that created a shallow pool. Dylan could stand and play in the water without any threat of waves knocking him down. He didn't notice the fish or else he would have probably freaked out and wouldn't get in the water. My sisters and I did a little snorkeling (with one mask between us). We saw a lot of cool fish hanging out around the rocks and found a few sand dollars. Funny thing: I dug my hand in the sand, nonchalantly picked up a shell, and about freaked out when I realized that it was a crab. I'm sure he was more scared than I was, but still....When I dropped it, the crazy little thing started to chase me! My sister picked it up with a net and gave it to a little boy. I always feel a little torn as a semi-environmentalist about picking up sea life. I hope the kid put the crab back before he left the beach.

St. Andrew State Park was nice. It was still fighting the seaweed but there were clear spots and the waves were a little rough. The first time I took Dylan and Devin out with my mom the waves were really rough. Dylan wasn't having it and I had to take him back to the beach with my sisters. Later on in the day the waves didn't seem so bad and I took Dylan out again. He complained but he was OK. I got him to say, "I'm in the ocean. I'm in the Gulf of Mexico." It sounded so cute with his little voice. There were also jellyfish that chased us out of the water. We later learned that the ones we saw didn't sting. We didn't believe it, but then saw these little girls holding some. I held one. Squishy.

We finally said good-bye to the beach. I hated to leave. Maybe one day Bart and I will have a home on the beach. I can hold out hope, right?

After this trip, I think I can officially say that Dylan is completely potty trained! A round of applause for my little guy please. Not one accident the whole time, not even in the car. He does say he needs to go to the potty when he wants to get out of doing something, including getting out of his car seat because he's tired of being in it. So a car ride that should have taken 5 hours turned into a 7 hour trip because of all the potty breaks. We used his Kalencom POTETTE - On the Go Potty in the van, on the side of the road and on the beach. It was perfect for every occasion!

It was a good trip overall. I was worried about the boys and the sun. I'm such a beach lover that I want to spend all my time sitting on the white sand and playing in the water. But with the kids I have to be careful not to overexpose them and to use a lot of sunblock. With his eczema and very sensitive skin, I have to be careful with what I use. All these products that say they are for sensitive skin really irritate his skin. The one thing that I found that I can use daily on Dylan has been the Aveeno Baby Continuous Protection Sunblock Lotion SPF 55 - 4 Oz. It worked great on his skin.

Did Bart have his party like he planned. Nope. We got into a fight about it. He was being a jerk (to put it nicely). He decided to cancel it and apologized for acting the way he did. I told him to go ahead and have his friends over, but he didn't want to go through all the trouble. Oh well, there will be other chances for him. We go on vacations a lot without him during the summer simply because Bart has to work. It would be nice to go somewhere as a family of four one of these days. It will happen soon enough.