A Long Road Ahead

Today is the day that I start making a change to help me feel better about myself. I'm braiding my hair in micro-braids. Why is that a big deal? Well for me it's the first step in helping me get my cuteness back. My hair is such a mess right now that I'm ready to shave it all off. Instead of taking that drastic step, I'm going to sit for hours on end, twist my body in unnatural ways to reach the back of my head, neglect my kids some (just a little, not a lot), watch plenty of TV, and braid my hair.

I learned to braid just by trying to figure it out. I've had braids probably for more years than I did not have them. I first practiced on my little sister's head. To be honest, she looked a mess. I wasn't proud of my work. Then I got it in my head that I could braid my own hair with micro-braids. I did this circa B.K. (translation: Before Kids). I would take a long weekend off from work, stay up all hours of the night and just braid. I would watch movie after movie. Everyone thought that I had gotten it done professional. I definitely can't braid as tight as the Africans when you go to a shop. You know the ones where they make you cry and have you popping aspirin like it's candy because the pain is so bad? I guess it's a good thing that I can't, huh? Who wants her head to throb for days and not be able to put her head on the pillow at night? Not me!

I honestly haven't been happy with my hair for a while. Probably not since I was pregnant with Dylan. My hair was so full and long. That was one good thing about the pregnancy. But after he was born, my hair fell out! All along the edges my hair was gone; I was almost bald! It was so embarrassing to have no hair there. It finally grew back but it's never been the same. When I got pregnant with Devin, I automatically thought my hair would grow just like before. No such luck. I think it's worse than before. It's just so unmanageable. Or it could be all my fault and I just don't take care of it any more or have the energy to take of it.

So today I start trying to braid it. I'm not sure how long this is going to take with two kids that need attention, food, drink, to nurse, take naps, need hugs and kisses, and who will probably want to investigate what I'm doing. Oh well, however long it takes I've got to get it done. We might not leave the house for a few days, or at least I won't. I'll get someone to take them out this weekend so they won't be cooped up or driving me crazy.

Yes, I have to add a picture of the kids!